Wedding speeches should all be filled with emotions, honest feelings, perfect expressions of different ideals and words of wisdom, gratitude, happiness and perfect timing. As a matter of fact, the timing is probably the hardest thing in father of the bride wedding speeches. As her father, you would most probably desire speaking for at least half an hour, but unfortunately your time-frame must be reduced and limited to 5 minutes of speaking. It may seem a lot on first sight, but experiences of people who went through their own wedding speeches reveal that this time amount is not quite enough. So how can you become the perfect organizer of your own speech to respect all timings and don’t exceed the 5 minutes, yet keep the entire meaning of the speech with all essential speech elements? It’s sometimes hard to understand but if you follow this article with attention, you might understand what it takes.
You need a lot of time management in wedding speeches. How to handle your time while preparing the father of the bride speech? Let me show you a checklist:
- Make up at least 5 different versions of your speech. And I really mean different, not like changing 1 or 2 sentences. I recommend 10 or 15 versions.
- Now, take out every version separately, turning them into final versions (details on that below).
- Review the structuring of your speech as it must contain:
- A short but to-the-point introduction greeting all guests and capturing attention
- A speech body to contain everything you’ve got to say
- Ending words of wisdom, quotes
- Toast proposal
- Check the introduction – does it seem like a real introduction to you? Would it capture your attention if you were a critic?
- Checking the speech body is very complex, but we’ll deal with that further on within this article.
- You need to carefully pick the ending words of wisdom and/or quotes you might want to read. People would appreciate your own words of wisdom but sometimes a quote is significantly better and more meaningful.
- Pick a stylish toast proposal sentencing and use it trustfully!
Of course, the ideal wedding speeches for father of the bride start the preparing process at least 2-3 weeks before the main event. You should never try doing everything on the last mile as you will probably not be able to keep the pace and not be able to come up with a good speech.
However, your time management will become even more sensitive as unplanned situations will keep coming up, one after another. You should always give yourself more time than you’d actually need, so that if something ruins your plans, you still keep yourself to the original timings. A lot of people don’t seem to understand how important this is or they say they don’t care. Well, they don’t care until the event comes and they realize how bad the speech was …
Before going on, I would like to emphasize the contents and construction of the speech body – the most complex, emotion-filled part, as well as the longest part of the entire speech. Schematic wedding speeches for father of the bride aren’t really good and they should be avoided because people can easily notice and so can your daughter!
You will need to talk about your daughter, but only in short stories, only emphasizing things of interest at the wedding dinner. So what would be interesting to the guests? You can talk about how your little daughter was as a child. You can talk about how innocent she was while playing, how good-hearted she was with all of her friends. But remember – honesty comes first and if you feel you can’t keep things positive, you’d better avoid saying anything! Negative memories are to be kept in private, not to be told on a public occasion such as your father of the bride speech.
Ideally, you would reflect on how well your daughter was able to perform in different areas while she was a teenager. To spice up things with a little fun, you can add a couple of short jokes here and there, but only if these jokes aren’t offensive to your daughter or the groom. There are so-called hidden jokes you could use as well and you can get hidden jokes if you say words, word structures or entire sentences which have double meanings, but obviously everyone would know which meaning fits into the context. Also, if you know that your daughter wouldn’t be upset, you can mention short stories of stupid things she did as a child or as a teenager.
Wedding speeches for father of the bride might also reflect on how your daughter met her groom and how was your first meeting with the groom, what were your impressions. Again, I must emphasize that you must only mention positive things, but never embarrassing or offensive things.
Welcoming the groom into the family is a very important honest formality to have, because it will make your lives easier. If you want to spend quality time with your daughter after the wedding, you must realize that as long as you won’t accept the groom, your daughter will likely avoid your company most of the times. And you wouldn’t want a half-broken or entirely broken relationship with your daughter, would you? No need for tensions in family as you can simply get over it and accept the groom. After all, it’s your daughter’s choice, not yours.
If you can say it in a pleasant way, you should tell the groom that he is the one who should take care of your daughter. You can tell him that until this moment you took care of her but now you trust him to continue keeping care of her, until death separates them, in bright and dark days likewise.
Another key element would be thanking the groom’s parents, because with every wedding, parents help a lot financially, in organizing and basically in everything.
All of the above must perfectly fit into the allocated 5 minutes. By this time, you should have your 5 or 10 versions of speech. You can practice in your own room, recording the speaking time for each version. If you have versions that can only be spoken in 15 minutes, forget those. If you have 2 minutes versions forget those as well. Anything between 4 and 9 minutes can be adjusted perfectly to 5 minutes, by adding or removing certain elements.
After all, successful father of the bride wedding speeches are all about organizing ideas, keeping the pace with time and having a clean structure of the speech, and of course a lot of practice!